“Wild Child. Full of Grace. Savior of the human race” - J Morrison
I like stories...we all do...especially the ones with hidden messages in them. I think it was Aesop who claimed this space, but there are other storytelling traditions that do not receive the same titled recognition. And we are not here to change that. We are gathered here today for me to share a story that resonated with me. Obviously, in this age of narcissism, if something resonates with me, I must share it with the whole world, which essentially means the 10 people who will read it, and of those, the 7 who habitually like everything they come across.
So this is a Koan. What is a Koan? It is a cool-sounding word from Zen Buddhism which basically means a story or a riddle that, much like a meal from KFC, will sit uncomfortably with you for some time and may lead to enlightenment...or indigestion...goals that explain why I keep eating from KFC...I have only achieved one outcome...still waiting on the second...I will let you figure out which one!
If you are still reading this, I should share the story with you.
There is a Master and a Student - yes, knowledge loves a hierarchy - who are walking by a stream when the Master notices a scorpion struggling to get out from the muddy riverbank. So the Master immediately extends his arm to lift up the scorpion and put him on dry land. But the scorpion stings him. Luckily, this was not the poisonous type of scorpion, so the sting does not kill the Master but just leads to some indigestion sprinkled with bouts of enlightenment.
Kher, the Master, not deterred by the scorpion, goes in again and this time uses a leaf to scoop up the scorpion and move it to dry land. Then the scorpion turns into a prince and tells him that this was a social experiment and he will post it on his Insta reel. No...they were living in a blessed time, for it was an age free of gadgets. So the scorpion slowly runs into the nearby woods. At that point, the utterly useless Student turns to his Master and asks why the Master continued to help the scorpion even though the scorpion had stung him.
The Master turned back to the Student, smiled (they always do), and said, “The water’s nature is to make the bank muddy. The scorpion’s nature is to sting, and saving it is mine.”
Here ends the lesson.
I love being around little children, for they remind me of our primal nature: kindness, and compassion - they only know to love. They are beings full of curiosity...and excitement at all the little wonders in life that the adults find boring. They are brave, for they ask questions that the adults are afraid to ask...they question why the world smells of evil when we have gone quiet and accepted the stench of the bullies.
There was a time when we were these children...but as we grew up, our curiosity, our kindness, our love were all beaten out of us - both literally and metaphorically.
And here is the part we do not like to say out loud: the bullies were these children too. The scorpion stings because stinging is its nature. The bully stings because somebody stung them first...when there were small, and stuck them in the mud, but nobody came with a hand or a leaf. Cruelty is not our nature. It is our trauma, handed down.
We were taught to live in a reactive world...to react to others’ actions. Be kind-ish to friends (but watch out if they cross you) and be mean to people who are mean to you. This is not natural...it is a corruption of our nature...we are told that we need to stand out, but not by being kinder, more gentle, more compassionate. No. The goal is to get ahead of others. To compete.
If we start competing in a world of plenty, the winners will end up with the gains and the losers will end up with less than enough...and it is no longer a world of plenty. And as it is not a world of plenty, it starts to feed the narrative that we need to push the children even more. We create the problem by our actions that are designed to solve a problem which did not exist.
But can’t you see that the kids are not okay? They are collapsing under the pressure of competition...the expectation of getting ahead of others because it is not a beautiful world for the non-winners. We have put them on a hamster’s wheel and they have no place to rest.
Being told that you are acting like a kid should not be an insult but a goal...the only goal...for the kids but especially for all the adults. We require new ideas. We need courage. And we must show kindness. Yes I am talking about the adults.
And before you object that kindness is how you get stung, remember the leaf. The Master did not stop saving scorpions...his nature was never up for negotiation. His method was. The first time he offered his hand, and the second time he offered a leaf. The sting could not change who he was, but it was allowed to make him smarter. Kindness is not the sport of collecting stings...you are permitted, encouraged even, to reach for a leaf.
We need to break the wheel and let the kids rest and give them an opportunity to return to their nature.
And while we work on the wheel, remember that the koan was never really about the scorpion. The scorpion will sting. The water will muddy the bank. The bullies will bully, and the world will keep handing you excellent reasons to become smaller, colder, more sensible. None of that is news, and none of it gets a vote. The Master was asked why he kept helping, and notice that he did not answer with a reason. He answered with an identity. The water's nature is to make the bank muddy. The scorpion's nature is to sting. And yours...yours was never theirs to decide.
And now, I will return to my KFC...I need some enlightenment.
“When I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful
A miracle, oh, it was beautiful, magical
And all the birds in the trees, well they’d be singing so happily
Oh, joyfully, oh, playfully watching me
But then they sent me away to teach me how to be sensible
Logical, oh, responsible, practical
And then they showed me a world where I could be so dependable
Oh, clinical, oh, intellectual, cynical”
- R Davies / R Hodgson