I have “You-have-not-yet-watched-this-show” envy. Yes, it is an official condition that has been greatly researched...but not published...mainly in my head. It is that feeling you get when you meet someone who has not yet watched a show that you loved and are envious of the excitement they will feel when they decide to watch it. Of course most won’t watch it, because they have the “I-dont-watch-such-shows” complex where they feel some pride in claiming they are superior to the proletariat who enjoyed such things. These conditions are not mutually exclusive - I suffer from and enjoy both in my life.
Kher, as always, here comes the pivot. This post is not about TV shows and the complexes we carry. I was reading an article about someone who just bought a home in the UK that costs more than $250 million. My first reaction was the same as most people would probably have, “Wow, what a cool house it must be.” And then I started thinking of all the amenities it must have. As part of the thinking, my mind went to how I would feel if I had just acquired that property.
But then my brain was stopped by my mind and I thought what is it that must have made the person buy that property. What happens to our sense of enough when each luxury becomes ordinary and the next one becomes necessary? I am not going to ask how many children could have been put through school or how many hungry people could have been fed with that money. No, that would be hypocritical as I am sure I also spend on things where the money could be better spent on the poor - and if you are reading this, chances are that you are also in this position where the wants we spend on are way beyond our needs.
This is about the numbness that we feel when we spend and the bar keeps on going up. I wonder whether a $250 million house gives its buyer any more satisfaction than a $100,000 house gives someone with much less wealth (marginal utility…for my econ friends). And that is where the sadness comes from. Material wealth does not necessarily produce spiritual wealth. In fact, the constant pursuit of more may prevent us from noticing what we already have.
Money has always been a target of chase so we glorify it and teach our kids to pursue it. We probably give them the wrong priorities - but with good intent and poor action. To be clear, I am not romanticizing poverty. I want us to help our children understand the difference between wants and needs, and to recognize when their needs have been met. It is difficult to do that - for everyone else is doing it and we do not want our children to be left behind. I always give the example of the CFA - there was a time when one did not need a CFA to break into a finance career - and then a handful of people did it and then a few more and soon it became a baseline expectation - when a want started disguising itself as a need.
I wish we could raise a generation for whom spiritual wealth mattered more, and material wealth was not the measure of a successful life. I am reminded of the story of a wise old man who lived in a small home in a village. Many kings and members of royalty would visit him for advice. So one day a nobleman who was in the area decided to visit the man. He went into the hut and was surprised to find that all it had was two pieces of cloth on the floor and a small table with a candle on it.
The nobleman sat on the floor and asked the wise man, “Oh sage, so many rich and noble people visit you here. Why do you not have more things in your hut?”
The wise man asked him, “Why don’t you have more things in this hut?”
The nobleman replied, “But I am just passing through.”
“So am I,” came the reply.
Maybe what I really have is “You-have-already-figured-out-what-is-enough” envy. Unfortunately, that condition is also greatly researched, mainly in my head.
Here ends the lesson.